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October 25, 2005
Subway Reading: Ultimate Fantastic Four
First things first, this week I reviewed She-Hulk 2 #1 on Buzzscope. As underwhelmed as I was with that book, it's Citizen Kane, The Watchmen, and The Grapes of Wrath rolled into one compared with this putrid stain:
Ultimate Fantastic Four #24 - Sue & Johnny Storm's mother, previously thought to be dead, has returned. Surprise, surprise, she looks like a porn star. She's the "sexy librarian" type, see, with the thick-rimmed glasses and the pulled-back hair. In Greg Land er, land, this qualifies as the visual clue to her job as a research scientist. Instead of instantly making out with her equally stripper-esque "daughter," and I use the term loosely since the way they're drawn indicates that they're the exact same age, she sends the Fantastic Four under the sea to find the lost city of Atlantis. Which apparently looks exactly like ancient Egypt, complete with a Sphinx and pyramids. Apparently the idea of inventing anything is a waste of Greg Land's time; after all, there's a LOT of porn out there that he has to dig through to find tracing material - I mean, reference.
Meanwhile, Mark Millar handles the complicated emotions of a family reunited after 15 years of lying about the mother's death with all the nuance and grace of an errant sledgehammer. Sue's mad! She busted everybody's coffee cups! She has the pouty stripper face! But the mom needs her to go to the bottom of the ocean? Well, OK, maybe she'll stop being mad long enough to do that, but then she's going to be really mad again!
Another lowlight is the panel of young Sue Storm after she finds out her mother died. I guess that's not really a scene for which you can find reliable photo reference; as a result, the snapshot from which that one was cribbed might have been of a grumpy baby who is late for her nap.
Is this the worst comic book I've ever read? To be fair, no, it's not. For all his "drawing" transgressions, Greg Land has a good eye for storytelling and page design. The blatantly traced source material in his splash pages is always nicely arranged, with effective manipulation of scale. I've mentioned the superb inking and coloring on this title before, and this issue is no exception. The subtle textures and finishes are a nice fit for Land's photo-swipe style. However, these bright spots don't even begin to make up for the execrable mess that is the rest of this book. The only question that remains is why I am still exchanging hard-earned American money for this train wreck. Trust me, that's a problem that will be corrected from here on out.
Posted by jdonelson_nyc at October 25, 2005 11:41 AM
Comments
At least the 'Marvel Zombies' made another (brief)appearance.
Posted by: Suckytarian at October 25, 2005 03:43 PM
The scene with the zombies wasn't completely terrible. I don't understand why zombie Reed Richards is still smart, though. He's a zombie for crying out loud. His face is rotting off but his brain is completely intact?
Posted by: jdonelson_nyc at October 25, 2005 04:00 PM