The Pickytarian: September 2005 Archives

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September 23, 2005

Mark Millar Fails Biology

Mark Millar made a couple of blatant biology goofs in Ultimate FF #23 this week. This would normally be the domain of blogs like Polite Dissent or Suspension of Disbelief, but these are such softballs that I'm going to take a swing at them.

First, Sue Storm causes Zombie Reed Richards to scream out in pain and collapse. Her explanation: "Just collapsed his left synapse. Brain-damaged him. God, that was horrible. I just popped an entire chunk of his brain." The problem is that a synapse is a tiny space between cells; it most certainly is not a "chunk of brain:"

syn-apse (n.) The junction across which a nerve impulse passes from an axon terminal to a neuron, muscle cell, or gland cell.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Later, Sue Storm causes a whole slew of super-zombies to suddenly go blind. How did she pull this one off? Again, in Sue's own words, "Why do people just assume Reed's the smart one? Can he make optic nerves invisible?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but making an optic nerve invisible shouldn't have any effect on sight, should it? Presumably Sue's invisibility power causes light to pass through rather than reflect off of objects. So maybe making the lens or retina of a person's eye invisible would make them blind. But my understanding is that the optic nerve only transmits signals from the eye to the brain, so light bouncing off or passing through the nerve wouldn't have any effect on the person's sight.

The extra dollop of irony here is that Ultimate Sue Storm is supposed to be a teenage biology prodigy. We even see her performing surgery on her own father earlier in the book. It's sad how much research seems to have gone into drawing her as a tawdry porn star and how little research went into making her sound like she knows the first thing about science.

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 02:21 PM | Comments (3)

September 22, 2005

Subway Reading: The Goon, Ultimates, Mister Miracle

The Goon #14 - This book contained four separate stories; all were written by Eric Powell but only two featured his art. All were enjoyable, though. I liked the twist at the end of the little kid story, and the narration in the Lagarto tale at the end was classic. "Run for your lives, simple folk! Inbreeding can't help you now!!" One thing I learned from this book, both from the stories and the ad for The Goon models on the last page, was that The Goon tends to look freakish and weird when he's depicted by anybody other than Eric Powell. I realize that Powell's Goon is not exactly the statue of David, but over the years he's refined the character to a shaved-ape charm that's apparently quite tricky to duplicate.

Ultimates 2 #8 - Right before I read this, I finished up The Avengers: Serpent Crown TPB, which reprints a Steve Englehart/George Perez story from 1975. Diving right into that book's polar opposite, Ultimates, almost made my brain explode. Not that one is better than the other; in fact, both are simultaneously terrible and wonderful. Millar's Captain America cries when his girlfriend cheats on him; Englehart's Cap shows less emotion than his teammate Vision, who is of course an android. Vision is almost exclusively motivated by his passionate love for his wife, the Scarlet Witch (who apparently exhibited the vague "power to do anything the writers needed for the occasion" long before Bendis came along), while Cap only slows down long enough for one throw-away reminiscence about how long it's been since somebody called him "winghead." To be fair, The Avengers of the 70's have precious little time for navel-gazing because they're way too busy time-travelling to the Wild West or journeying to alternate dimensions to battle a mind-controlled President Nelson Rockefeller. Would that kind of thing fit in with Millar's "real world" soap opera heroes? I guess not. But there's got to be some kind of middle ground, right?

Mister Miracle #1 - Maybe Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers project is that middle ground. There's no shortage of superhero depression in these books, but it's delivered along with a such a healthy serving of crazy madness that there's no time for wallowing. I had high expectation for the visuals in this book, but I came away kind of disappointed. While Pascual Ferry's panel layouts were consistently imaginative and dynamic, his characters vacillate between beautifully realized and awkwardly ugly. Colorist Dave McCaig simply dropped the ball. This script had plenty of shifts in tone and setting, opening the door for some evocative coloring that could have added a lot to the story. Unfortunately, all we got was the same general muddiness and too-heavy-by-half effects that marred the team's collaboration on last year's Adam Strange miniseries. The various titles in this epic have all maintained a high level of visual quality. Here's hoping that next issue's fresh start by a new team will bring Mister Miracle up to that standard.

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 05:01 PM | Comments (3)

September 20, 2005

To Buy Or Not To Buy?

DF All Star Batman & Robin Boy Wonder #1 Signed By Frank Miller - Here's a topic for your consideration: Frank Miller's and Jim Lee's successes have limited their development as creators and turned them into little more than highly-regarded one-trick ponies. Discuss.

Seven Soldiers Mister Miracle #1 - I recently read some of Kirby's Jimmy Olsen comics featuring the original Guardian and the Newsboy Legion, and I saw in that book the roots of Grant Morrison's style. Like Morrison, Kirby piled one crazy idea on top of another, only slowing down long enough for everything to barely make sense. His dialogue has the same disjointed rhythm that start out distracting but soon sucks the reader into the creator's world. Reading that Jimmy Olsen book made the experience of reading the Guardian series so much better that I've already reserved Kirby's New Gods collection at the library in preparation for Mister Miracle.

Sleeper Vol 4 The Long Way Home TP - I bought Volume 3 when it came out and immediately squirrelled it away so that I could read it and Volume 4 back-to-back. In fact, I may have to read Volumes 1 through 4 in one epic swoop of inky, superhero, neo-noir deliciousness.

Top Ten Beyond The Farthest Precinct #2 - When is that Smax series going to come out in Trade Paperback format? Man, that was good stuff. Luckily, we have this LS to scratch the long-neglected Top Ten itch until then.

Captain America Vol 5 #10 - In the mad crush to make super-dudes in tights books "mature," Ed Brubaker is one of the few writers who does it without leaning on the shaky crutch of shock value. Whether the goal is one that should or shouldn't be pursued is a question for another time. Meanwhile, give me Brubaker's moody melodrama over "tiny footprints on the brain" any day.

Runaways Vol 2 #8 - I wasn't all that taken by Takeshi Miyazawa's art in the previous issue; the characters had a bland, generic quality that sucked a lot of the life out of Brian K. Vaughan's character-driven script. Chris Yeung's utilitarian inking didn't carry its share of the load, either. But Vaughan, master of the last-page cliffhanger, worked his magic yet again and left me with no choice but to pick up this month's chapter.

Ultimate Fantastic Four #23 - I anticipate more of Greg Land's patented porno-capture art technique along with some highly impressive coloring. Mark Millar is very hit-or-miss for me, but so far this arc has been one of the hits. Here's hoping that this concluding issue doesn't end with the Thing showing us his face as he f*cks us in the arse.

Ultimate Fantastic Four Annual #1 - The good news is that Jae Lee, who did such a great job on the art for those Ultimate Mad Thinker issues, is returning for this annual.

Ultimates 2 #8 - I think the "secret" traitor gets revealed in this issue. I predict many ULTIMATE close-ups by Bryan Hitch.

Conan #20
Goon #14
Stray Bullets #39 - Just buy these comics. You'll love them. Unless you have a shriveled, empty husk of a soul, of course.

So what did I miss?

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 02:18 PM

September 16, 2005

I Got Yer Ramifications Right Here!

I've been a bit MIA from my beloved comic blogosphere lately. Some of the various reasons for my absence have been: a trip to Chicago for my wife Amy's opening, a stretch of daily stabbing headaches that prevented me from staring at a computer screen for my usual 12 hours per day, and a general sense of ennui that comes from yapping about the same 15 comic books month in and month out. I'm sure my fellow bloggers experience this as well; the nagging question of what could I possibly have to offer to the discussion that hasn't been said already and better? It's best not to go down that road. Even though others have stated, for example, that they aren't reading Crisis of Infinite Crossovers because it makes their head hurt, it's still a tiny bit meaningful to throw my hat into the ring and offer the same opinion, if only for the sake of seconding an opinion. Isn't it? The beauty of the Lectrick InterWeb is hypertext; I don't have to re-hash someone else's opinion, referencing it with a link does as much if not more to bolster it by increasing its accessibility.

So let's smash that existential angst back down into that self-doubting brain-compartment from whence it came. I have an opinion on one of comic punditry's current-ish debates and I'm going to share it, by gum. Feel free to click away if you're tired of this kind of thing...

Ramifications

It started with Heidi MacDonald from The Beat questioning writer Peter David's promise that his new Spider-Man story will have lasting ramifications for the character. Paul O'Brien from Ninth Art chipped in a defense of ramifications in his column this past Monday. I'm coming down squarely on MacDonald's side on this one. I've been reading superhero comics for, God help me, nigh on 22 years now. I remember the thrill of discovering this secret, crazy world of the Marvel Universe. The little footnote-asterisks hinted at a larger world that had an interconnected history, one that was expansive enough that I could easily transport myself into it and escape from the difficulties of my seventh-grade life. That's the thrill that fueled my weekly allowance-blowing on every scrap of the grand Marvel Universe quilt that I could get my hands on. It was a clever bit of marketing, one that had been honed over two decades by Stan Lee and his progeny in the Marvel editorial office.

Honestly, though, that's all it was. Like most other market-driven editorial decisions, continuity issues get in the way of quality stories more often than they contribute to them. Strict adherence to continuity is a snowball that grows and grows until it weighs down every story. Batman's 60 years of history is not the cause of his popularity, it's an unavoidable by-product of it.

The question of "Will the ramifications of this story be referenced in the next story" is a question in whose answer I have no interest. If they do, that's fine, but the current story better damn well recap that previous story so that I have an idea of what's going on. Otherwise I feel manipulated into buying the previous chapter. I also feel disappointed that the writer has to resort to referencing a previous work in order to bolster the current one.

The American superhero comic industry makes its money from weird little habits of a closed group of rapidly-aging obsessive-compulsive fans. I know this because I'm one of these fans. That doesn't mean that I can't recognize the flaws in my logic when I try to rationalize the purchase of an issue of The X-Men in which I only expect to be disappointed. By prioritizing things like the creators' creativity and craft over the relevancy to the overall big picture of the character's accidentally accumulated history, I keep myself from falling into the trap of missed expectations. I also like to think that I'm doing my small part to provide an economic disincentive for publishers to continue down that editorial dead-end street.

Obsessive lust for validation of your decision to purchase last year's comics is a vicious habit. I understand the desire to recapture that thrill of being an insider, that lower brain rush that comes from being accepted into the clubhouse of people who recognize the reference without following the asterisk down to the footnote at the bottom of the panel. But that's all you're doing when you demand ramifications. You're not getting an epic tale. You're buying in to the age-old trick of episodic entertainment, the constant cliffhanger. There's nothing inherently wrong with these thrills, but don't mistake them for the satisfaction that one gets from enjoying a cohesive, well-told story.

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 01:43 PM | Comments (2)

September 08, 2005

Subway Reading: Express Line

If you're going to be in Chicago this weekend, and you find yourself in the market for something to do on Friday night, why not hop down to the Rowland Contemporary Art Gallery for the opening of their "Cold Cuts" show? I will be there, along with my wife Amy, whose amazing artwork will be gracing the walls! Follow the link for more information. Speaking of Chicago, I probably won't get to the comic store before I leave New York tonight, so if anybody knows a good Chicago comic shop, please leave a comment and let me know. You don't want me to be stuck without any new comics this week, do you?

I'm going to run through some reviews quick and dirty-like. I'm not even going to slow down long enough to keep the spoilers out, so consider yourself warned...

Astonishing X-Men #12 - The end of this book was the most fan-fictionish moment in Joss Whedon's run so far, and that's no small feat compared to what we've already seen. The forced melodrama was dripping off the page when Cyclops et al turned their backs on Xavier at the end and old baldy hung his head in shame. Hadn't this fem-bot for which they were all so sympathetic spent the last 5 3/4 issues trying to murder them? In fact, hadn't it already killed one of their students? But hey, why let logical, believable characterization get in the way of cheap, manufactured soap opera-quality drama? Just when my eyes couldn't roll any farther back in my head, Whedon finds a few more inches of Chris Claremont's rectum into which he can climb with that last-page reveal. In a way, it's impressive how thoroughly they've undone everything Grant Morrison did with The X-Men in favor of Claremont's 20-year-old ideas. Ugh, ugh, UGH, stop the ride so that I can get off and throw up.

Revelations #1 - I didn't find artist Humberto Ramos' cartoony style to be a bad fit for the tone of the story. In fact, I think it was a good fit because it kept me from trying to take the story too seriously. Paul Jenkins' Vatican murder mystery had a bit of a trite air to it, but the dialogue and pacing were snappy enough to keep me from dwelling on the stock nature of the plot and the characters. Ramos' stylized art sometimes ventures a little too far, giving his figures freakish disfigurements that I don't think he intends. For example, black dots for eyes are fully acceptable. Fully rendered, realistic eyelids and eyeballs are also acceptable. Combining the two by filling a realistic eye shape with black is just plain freaky. The coloring was also maybe a tad too ambitious; on the backgrounds, the lighting and textures do a great job of establishing mood, but the heavy modelling on the figures sometimes clashes with their extremely exaggerated forms. It draws attention to their deformities rather than complementing them, if that makes any sense. At any rate, I'd rather see ambitious failure than timid restraint. If only the story took as many chances as the visuals.

Fantastic Four House of M #1 and 2 - I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I'm enjoying the house of M books that I've read. I haven't read all of them, only this one and the Spider-Man series, but they're both fun "What If...?" stories. The best part is that the nature of the set-up prevents the books from the ultra-decompression that has plagued every Marvel comic book for the last few years. The way that these self-contained stories quickly cover the origins of the characters and get moving with the plot is the thing that I would like to see carry over into the "real" Marvel Universe once this mega-crossover ends. As for the Fantastic Four books themselves, I've never heard of penciller Scott Eaton or inker Don Hillsman II, but the two of them have some serious chops. Some of their panels are a tad overworked, but they draw with a Paul Pelletier-like classic comic naturalism that I find very appealing. It's a shame that the first issue of this series was so blurry and fuzzy; it looked like it was printed, scanned, and then re-printed and that did no favors to the artwork.

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 11:07 AM

September 06, 2005

Subway Reading: Shining Knight

Shining Knight #4 - The story doesn't wrap up in this issue so much as it simply ends. There was a major "say wha?!?" plot twist that seemed to fly in from left field, but I would have preferred a spot of resolution. It didn't really matter, though, because the story - good guys fight the bad guys - was secondary to Simone Bianchi's stunning artwork.

Bianchi's page layouts pull off the difficult double-duty of compositional beauty and perfectly smooth storytelling. His silhouetted and vignetted scenes integrate seamlessly with his bordered panels, turning the comic page into a free-standing work of art. For all his daring layout decisions, though, there was never a moment of confusion as to where the eye should go to maintain the flow of the story.

Another flaw that has become a strength is the anatomical and gestural beauty of Bianchi's figures. Early in the series, the visuals were plagued by one too many moments of uncomfortable drawing. I don't know what made the difference, but by issue #4, his figures were moving and posing with consistently classical grace. This elegance combined with the gentle rendering and rich tones to bring to mind nothing short of the work of painting's Renaissance-era old masters. If only the old masters had depicted scenes of interdimensional knights chopping off the top halves of their zombie-counterparts' heads.

There were a couple of minor visual missteps. I don't think Dave Stewart's colors meshed very well with Bianchi's halftones. Sometimes the mix worked out as a happy accident, building a magical, atmospheric mood, but more often the result was a murky, obscurant haze. I also felt that Bianchi "cheated" a little bit by slightly changing his depiction of Justin after the revelation of the aforementioned plot twist. Minor issues, to be sure. All in all, the art in this series improved by leaps and bounds from the beginning to the end. The glimpses of greatness that popped up in the first issue blossomed into an all-out visual feast by the fourth.

[For further reading, Jog the Blog has a thorough look at the Shining Knight series as a whole as well as the inconsistencies between this issue and Zatanna #3.]

My eBay auctions to benefit the Red Cross Hurricane Katrina relief effort are going strong! Remember that every dollar that you contribute will be doubled, because I am going to match the final sale prices with a personal donation of my own. If you're not interested in the comics, please consider making a direct donation yourself. Thanks!

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 12:35 PM | Comments (1)

September 02, 2005

Auction Update

As I mentioned yesterday, I am auctioning off a stack of comics to benefit the relief efforts in the Gulf Coast. 100% of the sale price goes to The Red Cross, and I will match the total sale prices with a personal donation of my own.

After a brief hiccup last night where many of my auctions were removed by eBay, everything has been restored and a couple of new lots have been added. The available comics are:

If you're not interested in the comics, I encourage you to donate what you can directly to the American Red Cross, AmeriCares, or any other organization that is involved in the relief effort.

I'd also encourage you to dig through your own collections and put up comic auctions of your own. eBay makes it easy to donate the proceeds to charity, and they will even waive their listing fees if you donate 100% of the sale price. If you do set up any auctions, let me know and I will publicize them here on The Pickytarian.

Finally, thanks to Dorian at Postmodern Barney for helping spread the word about the auctions.

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 11:28 AM

September 01, 2005

The Pickytarian Asks For Your Help

Today I'm going to take a break from my usual petty trashing of other people's hard work. Instead I'm going to ask for your help. As you know, the Gulf Coast of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida has been devastated by Hurricane Katrina. The destruction and suffering hit us hard in The Pickytarian household, as New Orleans is my wife's hometown and the current home of most of her extended family. While almost all of the family has been accounted for and is safe, thousands of other families have not been as fortunate. The region has suffered an unprecedented blow that will require one of the biggest rebuilding efforts in our nation's history.

That's where you and I come in. It will only be a drop in the bucket, but I put up a bunch of comics on eBay and I am donating 100% of the proceeds to The American Red Cross. In addition, I will personally match the total sale price with an identical donation of my own.

If you're not interested in buying any of these comics, please consider making a donation on your own. Or, if you're like me, you have plenty of long boxes full of comics that you're holding on to for no apparent reason. Why not donate them to a good cause? eBay makes it very easy for you to donate the proceeds of your auctions to various charities, including The Red Cross, AmeriCares, and other organizations who are working to relieve the suffering caused by the hurricane. Put up an auction towards that end, let me know, and I will be happy to publicize it here on The Pickytarian.

I know it's a teeny, tiny speck of money compared to what is needed, but small donations from enough people can add up pretty quick. Thanks for your help!

Posted by jdonelson_nyc at 10:22 AM